Related Words:
Courtesy Esteem Honor Graciousness Self-concept
I. HOW STUDENTS CAN DEVELOP RESPECT:
1. Respect Yourself:
· Keep neat, clean, rested, in shape and eat healthy.
· Stay off drugs, tobacco and don’t misuse items that alter your ability to think clearly or damage your body.
· Don’t give in to sexual or peer pressure to do anything you don’t want to do.
· Responsibly use potentially dangerous objects, such as scissors, cars and machinery.
2. Respect Others:
· Follow rules and instructions given by parents and other persons in authority.
· Accept others -- without feeling obligated to embrace all of their ideas.
· Show respect by using kind words and good manners.
· Respect other’s right to say no and to set their own limits
· Lead by example and put that piece of litter into the trash for clean environment!
· “Treat others the way you want to be treated”: Golden Rule
B. PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS & EXAMPLES:
- Self-respect yourself by celebrating Red Ribbon (download) week October 23-31 and pledging not to use drugs. (Future link for more ideas on this national drug prevention week.)
- Disagree or “Talk back” respectfully with your parents, teachers or anyone by:
· Don't make it personal. If you get upset, try to remember you're mad at the idea or concept your parent or another adult is raising, not the person.
· Avoid putting down your parents' ideas and beliefs. Instead of saying, "That's a stupid idea," say, "I don't agree, and here's why."
· Use "I" statements to communicate how you feel and think. Using "you" statements can sound argumentative. For example, telling your mom or dad, "You always remind me about my mid-week chores" has a very different tone from "I'm feeling pressured with a lot of homework tonight. Can I do those chores tomorrow?"
· Listen to the other point of view so they’ll more likely listen to yours.
· Pick a good time to talk. Try to approach them at a time when you know they'll be less busy and more able to focus on you and give you undivided attention.
· Plan what you want to say ahead of time. Thinking the issue over beforehand or writing notes will help you manage the conversation. Write down the three most important things you want your parents to know.
· Ask another uninvolved person for their views or to ‘mediate”.
· Don’t keep repeating same things but add new facts and items to sway.
· Sometimes it’s best just to agree to disagree and move on.
II. PARENT TIPS FOR PROMOTING RESPECT:
1. Talk with your children about drug abuse before middle school. Later on in life, parents may be shut off as nagging or accusing, unless those topics are started by 5th grade. For help on getting that conversation going, go to this list of many website links for advice for grades K-3, 4-6, and other age groups.
2. Turning back talk into productive conversation isn't easy. But here are some tips:
· Never respond in kind.
· Don't let a child use back talk to push your buttons--if it does so repeatedly, ask yourself why.
· Make sure your child feels safe coming to you with complaints.
· Listen to what your child is saying. Back talk may just be a screen for confusion or strain in your child.
· Try to encourage a more productive mode of expression. You may want to do so by giving the child pointers on discussion when he or she is calm.
· It may be helpful to come up with a system for discouraging back talk that doesn't also discourage communication. The goal is to build a strong, trusting relationship with your child that will hold up under the battles of adolescence.
Some independent thought is good for a child’s growth if expressed respectfully: see a great article
http://familyfun.go.com/parenting/child/behavior/feature/dony57backtalk/dony57backtalk.html)
3. Teach by your own example.
· To gain respect, we must give it to others, including your children.
· Let your children see how you respect them through genuine praise or recognition of a task well done.
· Respect their effort; even though it's not perfect yet, by emphasizing the positive steps they have taken to achieve their goal.
III. ACTIVITIES TO DO TOGETHER:
1. Establish a "no putdown" environment.
· Ask children to chart the number of putdowns found on popular TV shows.
· Help family members understand that putdowns are the result of strong feelings and help them develop skills in staying calm, such as counting, deep breathing, really listening, and trying to see the others perspective.
2. Practice effective listening, which shows respect for communication with others.
· You can't listen effectively when you are thinking about the next thing to say.
· Ask children to practice responding to what others are saying without adding their own agenda.
· After intently listening, ask the listener to repeat what has been said.
· Discuss how this felt for both parties and if a better understanding was reached.
3. Reinforce habits and manners which show respect, (please, excuse me, etc.).
4. Share a personal hero and tell each other why he or she is your hero.
IV. QUOTES:
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” by Eleanor Roosevelt
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.” by Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Prejudice is the child of ignorance.” by William Hazlitt, English essayist
“The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.” by Ann Landers
For recommended books with responsibility lessons for Ages 4 - 8, and 9- 12; see suggestions
http://www.pausd.palo-alto.ca.us/schoolsites/hays/Home/reading_lists/respect.htm
at http://www.louisiana4h.org/ccounts/PDFfilelementary/PDFfilelementary/bklistrespect.PDF and for all grades and traits at http://www.bu.edu/education/caec/files/teacherresources.htm
V. UPCOMING EVENTS & NEWS:
1. Wake County PTA’s “Great Expectations” Character Parent Leadership Conference will have a special workshop: Become a Catalyst for Character Education (2I): this workshop will highlight best practices and new, useful ways for your school to enhance your Character Education programs. The participants will divide according to school level (elementary, middle and high). To sign up, go to http://www.wakeptacouncil.org/.
2. Character Counts! Week is October 17-23 focuses on the importance of the ethical values that bind us and teaching them rigorously to the young with ideas at http://www.charactercounts.org/ccweek-ideas.htm .
3. Suggested activities for Red Ribbon (download) week October 23-31 can be found at http://www.theantidrug.com and http://www.imdrugfree.com/.
Character Corner compiled by Nancy Caggia, WCPTA Character Education Chair: nancyc121@nc.rr.com
