Related Words:
Self-reliance Willpower Resolution
selbst disziplin (German) stesso disciplina (Italian) se disciplina (Portuguese)
zelf discipline (Dutch) discipline automatiquement (French)

I. HOW STUDENTS CAN DEVELOP SELF-DISCIPLINE:

A. Meaning:

“When a minor demands independence, adults usually pull tighter on the chain. When a person demonstrates self-discipline and self-restraint, adults often trust more and give more independence,” as explained by Barbara Lewis in her book, “What Do You Stand For?” Another Lewis book, “A Kid’s Guide to Building Character” tells of a companion to self discipline: self reliance. The more that self-discipline comes from within, the less that authority is needed from the outside.

There are four key ingredients for self-discipline:

· Self-Control - The act of controlling our emotions, actions, thoughts, words, and personal direction.

· Motivation - The “fire inside”, that fuels our efforts and makes accomplishments worth achieving.

· Persistence - The ability to continue through adversity. The ability to brush off failure and stay focused on our goals.

· Goals - Those tangible achievements that breed motivation and form our definitions of happiness and success.

B. Practical Tips:

Following the four ingredients above, many steps can be found at http://self-discipline.8m.com/ingredients_of_self.htm. Another source of tips can be found from The Pillars of Christian Character by John MacArthur. © 1998 by John F MacArthur, Jr. which suggest:

1. Start with small things. Clean your room at home or your desk at work. Train yourself to put things where they belong when they are out of place. Make the old adage "A place for everything and everything in its place" your motto. After you've cleaned your room or desk, extend that discipline of neatness to the rest of your house and workplace. Get yourself to the point where orderliness matters so you can function without a myriad of distractions. Such neatness will further develop self-discipline by forcing you to make decisions about what is important and what is not.

Learning self-discipline in the little things of life prepares the way for big successes. On the other hand, those who are undisciplined in small matters will likely be undisciplined in more important issues.

2. Make a schedule however detailed or general you are comfortable with, and stick to it. Have a to-do list of things you need to accomplish. The simple reality is that if you don't control your time, everything (and everyone) else will.

3. Do the most difficult tasks first. Most people do just the opposite, spending their time doing the easier, low priority tasks. But when they run out of time (and energy), the difficult, high-priority tasks are left undone.

4. Keep your word. "Undertake not what you cannot perform," a young George Washington exhorted himself, "but be careful to keep your promise." If you say you're going to do something, do it - when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. When you make commitments, see them through. That calls for the discipline to properly evaluate whether you have the time and capability to do something. And once you’ve made the commitment, self-discipline will enable you to keep it. If you start something, finish it. Therein lies an important key to developing self-discipline.

5. Accept correction. Correction helps you develop self-discipline by showing you what you need to avoid. Thus, it should not be rejected, but accepted gladly. Solomon wrote "Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days" (Prov. 19:20); and "He whose ear listens to the life giving reproof will dwell among the wise. He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding" (Prov. 15:31-32).

6. Practice self-denial. Learn to say no to your feelings and impulses. Occasionally deny yourself pleasures that are perfectly legitimate for you to enjoy. Skip dessert after a meal. Delaying gratification is another aspect of self discipline that in this time of great abundance can get a little rusty in our children.

7. Welcome responsibility. Volunteer to do things that need to be done. That will force you to have your life organized enough to have the time for such projects.

II. PARENTS TIPS TO DEVELOP SELF-DISCIPLINE:

In this technology driven world, I found this analogy with a computer operating system very entertaining: Discipline Deficiency and the Excuse Virus:

Self-discipline is much like the operating systems we use for our computers. Systems like Windows 98 are what we use to direct and control all aspects of a computer’s functions.

A computer without an operating system is much like a person who lacks discipline. Unlike a computer, we are blessed with the gift of free will, but without self-discipline we are susceptible to the viruses of instant gratification, excuses, and bad habits.

The most common and destructive virus found in our personal operating system is the justification virus. As human beings, we have the tendency to justify our poor decisions by using excuses. We use the power of excuses to justify our poor performance, our attitudes, our problems, and ultimately our lack of overall happiness.

We will always make mistakes and blunders, but it is through the power of self-discipline that we are able to diminish their impact on our lives. One of the most effective methods that you can use to identify the problems that exist in your life is to make a detailed list of your problems and excuses. By writing down this information you are able to take an objective look at what viruses are affecting your personal operating system.

Before you can inject discipline into your personal operating system, you must take the action of personal responsibility. Get in the habit of identifying the real reason behind the circumstances in your life and defeat the excuse virus.

From “POWER LIVING” Mastering The Art of Self-Discipline by Michael Janke at http://self-discipline.8m.com/

III. ACTIVITIES TO DO TOGETHER:

All the experts that I’ve been reading suggest speaking with your children to agree upon acceptable limits and goals. The age of the child and their capabilities: (intellectual, physical, and emotional) sets how much self-discipline is a realistic goal. Self-discipline requires an understanding of oneself and an awareness of the ways in which one can cope with difficulties, frustrations, and disappointments.

Working with your children to handle their emotions appropriately when faced with frustrations will develop self-control and ability to preserve to ultimately succeed. In “Building Moral Intelligence”, Dr. Michele Borba gives parents the five strategies to teach children self-control so they can calm down and learn to handle their anger. Here is a summary with many more details found at www.moralintelligence.com.

• Model coolness when facing problems.
• Develop a feeling vocabulary chart and keep adding emotion words to the list whenever new ones come up in those great “teachable moments” that come up throughout the day.
• Identify anger warning signs so they can learn to regulate their own behavior and calm themselves down.
• Use self-talk to stay in control with affirmations-simple, positive messages-to themselves in stressful situations.
• Proper breathing technique is one of the most effective ways to stay in control. Technique is given at http://www.moralintelligence.com/Pages/PRbmi01.htm.

IV. QUOTES & Reading Lists:

“Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.” by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“It is not enough to have great qualities; We should also have the management of them.” by La Rochefoucauld

“A man without decision of character can never be said to belong to himself . . . . He belongs to whatever can make captive of him.” by John Foster

“Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” James 1:19

“Well begun is half done.” by Aristotle

Suggested Reading: please visit reading lists at
http://www.pausd.palo-alto.ca.us/schoolsites/hays/Home/reading_lists/%20selfdis_persev_supp.html

V. CURRENT NEWS:

Happy New Years! I’ll have to use self-discipline to achieve those new year’s resolutions with all the tips that I’ve been reading about especially at http://self-discipline.8m.com/how_to_achieve_those_new_year.htm.

· There’s still time to register for NC DPI’s Character Education Conference at http://www.ncpublicschools.org/charactereducation/ on Feb. 17-18, 2005. This is the first year this conference will be combined with Safe Schools Conference and will cover topics such as: Characteristics of a School That is Safe to Students; Bullying Prevention; Parents, Students and Character and many more sessions.

Integrity will be covered in the next Character Corner which will be distributed about Jan. 15, 2005 on the normal schedule of two weeks prior of that next month’s trait.

Character Corner compiled by Nancy Caggia, WCPTA Character Education Chair: nancyc121@nc.rr.co